I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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