Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
