Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I smell stomach acid.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
