Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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