so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
