When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
