we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
