I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
then he tried to convert me to islam
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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