she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
