I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
