Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
