the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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