This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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