Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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