my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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