Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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