Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
