we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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