After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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