I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize