come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize