i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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