Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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