Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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