She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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