don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize