those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
