That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
why is half of my head shaved?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
