You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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