dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
