ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
