OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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