anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
