he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
