she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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