Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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