its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
