I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
