I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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