The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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