I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
