my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
