well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
