He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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