Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
