from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
