every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
