Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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