I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
