Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize