After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
