i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
