Moan for me like Helen Keller
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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