She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
