This dress was meant to end up on your floor
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
