there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize