Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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