So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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