Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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