i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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